Today was one of those days where I felt incapable of playing the role of loving mommy, supportive wife, able homemaker, and ambitious businesswoman. It all came crashing down on me this morning and settled on my head by 2pm. The rest of the day was spent swimming with leg weights, which was good since the morning workout got tossed out the window when the quick call to the architect turned into a 30 minute lecture how the city won't issue a building permit until we finish these 3 pages (single spaced) of corrections ($$$). I mostly felt like I failed my little one because I was too distracted to give her the attention she deserves.
We made it to a playdate at one of her best buddies so it was a bit of redemption. She had a great time socializing, and snacking. I was able to reset to normal and persevere through the grocery shopping and evening chores.
At the end of the day I got dinner on the table, cleaned the kitchen, bathed the child and got a kiss goodnight from the munchkin. I would say it wasn't such a bad day after all.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
A Bit of Raw Emotion
Hooray for post number 25! I wasn't sure if I had the stamina nor ability to get this far. I suppose ability is irrelevant as blogger.com does not require a resume, education background, or proof of any actual talent to start a silly blog and put words on the screen. It's fun to hammer out a few details every now and again and allow friends and family to keep up with the happenings.
And now for a few happenings.
I've discussed in the past how emotionally freeing it has been having a child. I laugh more, show more frustration, have a tendency to raise my voice on occasion, and cry a whole lot more. Mostly tears of joy. Last week the tears were that of sorrow and mourning with the death of a dear family friend. A lady who helped us buy our 1st home here in Oceanside and gave us the encouragement to make it great! She is great and will be missed. I attended the memorial service last Friday and it was just perfect. Exactly as Joan wanted it, on her favorite beach with her very closest friends and family. No pretense and no formalities. Just a raw show of emotion as those close to her shared and grieved as one. Joan was a woman who was passionate about life which she did her best to instill in her four sons. Her death, although difficult, ended a courageous and painful fight with cancer and for that I'm thankful.
At one point during the service, a song was played at Joan's request. The song was "I Hope You Dance," and as the chorus started two dolphins jumped out of the water right in front of our group of mourners, swam a couple hundred feet up the coast, turned around and swam back by, then disappeared. I was already in tears but now with a big smile on my face and I could feel God's presence right there among us.
Joan was a woman of great faith and loved her Creator. I was told that she was ready for her time on Earth to end, however painful it was to leave her children and grandchildren, and ready to be with her husband, and the Lord, in heaven. It speaks volumes about a person's life when at their weakest, they are able to strengthen everyone around them and so she did. I ask that we all say a prayer for her four sons who are hurting beyond imagine. God Bless.
Let is also be said how amazing little kids are. Later in the day on Friday, I was sitting on the living room floor playing with my cute little girl. Pretty normal stuff. Although I wasn't showing it, I was still feeling quite sad and weepy inside but having fun playing with playdough and my daughter, who is not the most affectionate of little people. Completely uninitiated, she walks over to me and gives me a big hug and turns around to go back to playing and with her back to me says, "I wuv you." I needed that.
Joan's last request: Go feed the birds. So we did and we all left smiling.
And now for a few happenings.
I've discussed in the past how emotionally freeing it has been having a child. I laugh more, show more frustration, have a tendency to raise my voice on occasion, and cry a whole lot more. Mostly tears of joy. Last week the tears were that of sorrow and mourning with the death of a dear family friend. A lady who helped us buy our 1st home here in Oceanside and gave us the encouragement to make it great! She is great and will be missed. I attended the memorial service last Friday and it was just perfect. Exactly as Joan wanted it, on her favorite beach with her very closest friends and family. No pretense and no formalities. Just a raw show of emotion as those close to her shared and grieved as one. Joan was a woman who was passionate about life which she did her best to instill in her four sons. Her death, although difficult, ended a courageous and painful fight with cancer and for that I'm thankful.
At one point during the service, a song was played at Joan's request. The song was "I Hope You Dance," and as the chorus started two dolphins jumped out of the water right in front of our group of mourners, swam a couple hundred feet up the coast, turned around and swam back by, then disappeared. I was already in tears but now with a big smile on my face and I could feel God's presence right there among us.
Joan was a woman of great faith and loved her Creator. I was told that she was ready for her time on Earth to end, however painful it was to leave her children and grandchildren, and ready to be with her husband, and the Lord, in heaven. It speaks volumes about a person's life when at their weakest, they are able to strengthen everyone around them and so she did. I ask that we all say a prayer for her four sons who are hurting beyond imagine. God Bless.
Let is also be said how amazing little kids are. Later in the day on Friday, I was sitting on the living room floor playing with my cute little girl. Pretty normal stuff. Although I wasn't showing it, I was still feeling quite sad and weepy inside but having fun playing with playdough and my daughter, who is not the most affectionate of little people. Completely uninitiated, she walks over to me and gives me a big hug and turns around to go back to playing and with her back to me says, "I wuv you." I needed that.
Joan's last request: Go feed the birds. So we did and we all left smiling.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
The Day To Day
If there is anybody with great potty training advice, bring it on. This is a hot subject around the house and not because the big people are pushing it.
A few months ago, the little one got very interested in using the "potty" but that was a fleeting phase like the rest of them. Then it was an obstinate "NO" at the mention of the toilet. It was obvious from her face that she was thinking, "Why would I do that when I have this perfectly good (and expensive) diaper at the ready whenever I get "the feeling", as Elmo says. So I canned the idea of early potty training and decided that she would let me know when she is ready.
So, she is back to flirting with using the potty, but I know better. She has yet to actually ask to go and make it happen. We, I mean she, successfully uses the toilet every night before bath so I know she's capable. The honest truth is I dread this inevitable life transition as it is as much trauma for the parent as is for the child. I'm not prepared to familiarize myself with every acceptable, semi-clean public restroom within a ten mile radius of the house and I most certainly will not carry a portable john in the car. I will continue to let the little one lead the way and I'm sure when she is truly ready, diaper-free we will be. I expect it to be at least another 8 months away so I will be sure to have future posts on the subject. You have been forewarned.
Of more interest, the little tyke is showing herself to be quite social. Who knew? We were at the park yesterday and when she saw a couple boys playing on another play structure, she pointed and said, "kids, yea kids." Then she ran over to the oblivious little boys and said, "hi guys." Although her presence was not acknowledged nor greeting returned, she watched and laughed as the boys continued their play. It was cute. So is her needing to bring a toy/baby/stuffed animal with her every time we walk out of the house to go somewhere. This morning it was her Christmas ornaments that never made it back to the attic, or as she calls them "decorations." I'm sure they were stoked at Jazzercise when we walked in with a handful of stuff for them to be responsible for, as if 20 kids wasn't enough.
But that's what being one is all about.
A few months ago, the little one got very interested in using the "potty" but that was a fleeting phase like the rest of them. Then it was an obstinate "NO" at the mention of the toilet. It was obvious from her face that she was thinking, "Why would I do that when I have this perfectly good (and expensive) diaper at the ready whenever I get "the feeling", as Elmo says. So I canned the idea of early potty training and decided that she would let me know when she is ready.
So, she is back to flirting with using the potty, but I know better. She has yet to actually ask to go and make it happen. We, I mean she, successfully uses the toilet every night before bath so I know she's capable. The honest truth is I dread this inevitable life transition as it is as much trauma for the parent as is for the child. I'm not prepared to familiarize myself with every acceptable, semi-clean public restroom within a ten mile radius of the house and I most certainly will not carry a portable john in the car. I will continue to let the little one lead the way and I'm sure when she is truly ready, diaper-free we will be. I expect it to be at least another 8 months away so I will be sure to have future posts on the subject. You have been forewarned.
Of more interest, the little tyke is showing herself to be quite social. Who knew? We were at the park yesterday and when she saw a couple boys playing on another play structure, she pointed and said, "kids, yea kids." Then she ran over to the oblivious little boys and said, "hi guys." Although her presence was not acknowledged nor greeting returned, she watched and laughed as the boys continued their play. It was cute. So is her needing to bring a toy/baby/stuffed animal with her every time we walk out of the house to go somewhere. This morning it was her Christmas ornaments that never made it back to the attic, or as she calls them "decorations." I'm sure they were stoked at Jazzercise when we walked in with a handful of stuff for them to be responsible for, as if 20 kids wasn't enough.
But that's what being one is all about.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Ahh, Exhale.
I resolve to post more than twice a month. Lofty ambitions but the motto of the year, "Life is great in 2008", deserves nothing less.
We made it through the holiday cheer. December was a whirlwind that left both the little one and myself longing for the daily, mundane routine: wake up early, drink coffee/milk, play a little, clean a little, dress, workout, play some more, nap, eat, play while cleaning, make dinner, eat, play while doing dishes, bathe, read, and sleep. Life IS great in 2008, so far.
The little one enjoyed all the visiting with family and playing with the cousins. It was truly a joy to watch. I've been impressed with how well she plays with kids of all ages. She was able to hang with the older cousins, ages 9 and 11, without being an annoying little kid. At one point during Christmas dinner, the adults were still hanging around the dinner table drinking and chatting it up, while the kids "repaired" to the living room. The oldest was playing a game on his new laptop while his sister watched on one side and my little one sat on his other side, quietly watching and chiming in appropriate comments and questions to which he gave answers. When the littler kids came over for New Year's, she happily shared the toys and let them crawl/walk all over her, literally.
She came out of the month of December with quite the working vocabulary and a love for babies. We have reached the playing with baby stage. At this very moment, I hear her saying, "I love you baby (kiss sound)." "Sit right here baby." "Oops, baby bonked head."
It is great. Let's do 2008!
We made it through the holiday cheer. December was a whirlwind that left both the little one and myself longing for the daily, mundane routine: wake up early, drink coffee/milk, play a little, clean a little, dress, workout, play some more, nap, eat, play while cleaning, make dinner, eat, play while doing dishes, bathe, read, and sleep. Life IS great in 2008, so far.
The little one enjoyed all the visiting with family and playing with the cousins. It was truly a joy to watch. I've been impressed with how well she plays with kids of all ages. She was able to hang with the older cousins, ages 9 and 11, without being an annoying little kid. At one point during Christmas dinner, the adults were still hanging around the dinner table drinking and chatting it up, while the kids "repaired" to the living room. The oldest was playing a game on his new laptop while his sister watched on one side and my little one sat on his other side, quietly watching and chiming in appropriate comments and questions to which he gave answers. When the littler kids came over for New Year's, she happily shared the toys and let them crawl/walk all over her, literally.
She came out of the month of December with quite the working vocabulary and a love for babies. We have reached the playing with baby stage. At this very moment, I hear her saying, "I love you baby (kiss sound)." "Sit right here baby." "Oops, baby bonked head."
It is great. Let's do 2008!
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