Playing the Field

Yes, I'm back in the dating scene, not that I was ever any good at it the first time around. This time it's pursuing and being pursued by other Moms and oh, how great it is. It's surprising how aggressive women can be when looking for a play companion for their beautiful pride and joy. The secret truth is the child playmate line is a disguise for a desperate need to find other women to share in this joyous experience of child-rearing. The fact that they probably have a vocabulary greater than 100 words and talk in full sentences is icing on the cake.

When the little one was about 12 months old it became obvious that smiling at her while doing dishes or turning pages of a book while working at the computer just wasn't going to cut it. She demanded more and rightly so. It was clear that if we didn't get more structured activity, out of the house, we were going to make each other crazy. I found a local Mom's group online, enrolled in a kids play gym and scoped out all the local parks and now we have more activities than we can handle and it's made our relationship even better. Simply put, we have more fun!

I remember feeling that the playgroup thing just wasn't for me. Sounded too, I don't know, desperate. Seeking out what amounts to total strangers to play with your kid. How foolish I was. My only regret is not getting involved sooner. I enjoy chatting with other Mom's about the good, bad, and indifferent of having kids and what great resources! When you get 10 Mothers together in a room, it's safe to say there isn't much that they haven't seen as it pertains to the little tikes. Consequently, I've met some really wonderful women to which we have scheduled our own, smaller playdates. I love this picture from a recent park playdate with a little boy born 4 days before the little one, at the same hospital, delivered by the same doctors.

Thumbs up on the Mom's groups and having an abundance of opportunities to meet other parents and kids the same age. Anyone considering joining a playgroup, don't hesitate, it's well worth it!

Coming of Age...In Humor

The cat is 18 years old today. Wow! Of course to him this is just another day in the burbs, sleep on the area rug, eat dry food from dish, sip water, return to area rug, move to couch for some afternoon sun, and repeat until dinner time where the humans dish out the miniature rations of fatty can food. Little does he realize that today he's in for a treat. I've decided to double his dinner portion in celebration of his birth! Poor old cat.

The little one enjoys her kitty. She knows how to "pet nicely", mostly thanks to the cat himself who taught her what happens when you don't. This kid is learning all kinds of new things. To our great enjoyment, she found her sense of humor. Last week it was just laughter, laughter, laughter. She makes herself laugh too. I never considered myself particularly funny, (pause for wise cracks) but the little one thinks I'm hilarious. Her current favorite is "If your happy and you know it," I get to "do all three...clap, stomp hooray" and she loses it. It's a wonderful thing! I smile just thinking about her smile and laughter.

The new, more jovial side of the little one came as quite a relief. When she was itty bitty, from about 4 months on, I remember feeling like I was doing something wrong. This little baby just didn't seem happy. There was the occasional smile, but we really had to work for it and forget trying to get a laugh from her. She was quite serious. Showing no physical resemblance to myself, I figured she must have inherited this less than desirable trait. I'm pretty serious, or at least thats the way it appears. Even the Mr. gets frustrated because I never laugh at his jokes but what he doesn't realize is I internalize my laughter. It's there, it's just not so obvious.

Well, I hope that the little one is less serious and easier to humor than myself. This week's breakthrough has me much more hopeful. In response to her laughter, I'm laughing more too. Bonus!

Then and Now

I've been sufficiently rocked by the last week, something had to give and so it ended with silence from The Mundane Details. Either there was nothing mundane to report or all was just too mundane to record and heaven forbid others must hear about it. I believe it was the latter. The sum total of the last week was illness, work, chores, insomnia and a sickly child.

More importantly we reached a minor milestone last Friday (not so mundane) which insighted much reflection on my part. The little one turned 18 months on the 14th! It was eighteen months ago that my life was forever changed. When I was pregnant it was not uncommon for a parent to tell me, "Just wait, it will change your life." Always with the emphasis on the "Oh, you just wait." Like I was joining them in some painful punishment they have been sentenced to and I rarely heard the good stuff.

They were certainly right, life did change. My heart is bigger, I love more intensely, I have a greater appreciation for the littlest accomplishments, my faith is greater, I'm less selfish and I am an overall more fulfilled person. Life is a tremendous blessing and I appreciate this life more observing it through the eyes of someone experiencing it all for the first time. I remember how entertaining it was to watch the little one learn to sit. She would take tiny steps backward, feel her legs hit the object, then squat until her rear touched down. The fireplace hearth turned out to be the perfect height for her to practice and she would repeat the process over and over again, with a big smile. Such a simple task yet a tremendous concept.

Not to say it hasn't been difficult. The rough times are harder to remember, another way nature fools us into repeating the process I guess. But as in life, the pain and struggles that I have so far met in parenting have made me a wiser and more loving mom. I can't imagine returning to life as it was 19 months ago, nor would I ever wish to.

Another Overpriced Gadget?

Our friends at The Most Significant Thing have been singing the praises of the Appletv and it's time I (the significant other) weigh in on the subject. In one word, Awesome! I am an admitted naysayer of all things hyped as coolest gadget ever, mostly because we have too many gadgets as it is, but the little white box has proven it's worth and space it occupies in the house.

It was a difficult evening with the little one. No doubt a result of a nap cut too short therefore blessing our dinner table with a meltdown of cosmic proportions. At this point you just submit. No use in trying to placate in an effort to get those last few bites. Nope, straight to bath we go, followed by an abbreviated bedtime routine, a few last belly screams and dreamland she goes. I returned to dinner and kindly, the mister waited to finish his meal until the interruption was resolved, at which time we silently finished off our dinners. We adjourned to the tv room to re-live the last 5 years via the Appletv screensaver and that was that. No talking heads on FoxNews, no lame tv shows, just the relaxing tunes of our selected evening playlist with the scrolling scenes from our life. One hour later I was sufficiently wound down from the day and ready for bed.

The little one is probably the biggest fan of our newest gadget. She enjoys the pictures and calling out the names of the faces as they appear, "Daddy", "Nid-nee", "An-tee ____", "Wy-no". etc., but her greatest joy is still the home movies that she affectionately calls, "buh-dee". It's cute. For some reason she still can't, or won't, say movie so she walks around asking for her "buh-dee" with a firm grasp on the little white Appletv remote control. I'm quite sure she could sit for hours watching the same 5 short buh-dees. I will resist the temptation to let her.

So is the Appletv as great as it's cracked up to be, yes! Do we enjoy it everyday, yes! Would I recommend it to everyone, yes! Is it worth the $400 price tag, not really, but for the $150 we paid, it's a bargain. So thanks to the giver of Apple gift cards!

The Pain Of It All

Today is the day. Yep, today is the first official day of marathon training. No more excuses...no more procrastinating...only three months until the big run. It's a considerable commitment but with my desire to do the stupid, the little munchkin makes the bigger sacrifice. It means countless hours of sitting and watching the world go by from the confinement of the stroller, strapped in and all.

In an attempt to be sympathetic to the needs of the child, I gear up with snacks, sippy cup, toys, etc. Rice cakes work great to keep her occupied for a chunk of the time while providing a scant amount of nutrition. Inevitably I end up stopping mid-stride several times to collect flying debris from the front seat, most commonly, shoes, socks, and sippy cup. She must have sensed the struggle from the driver of the stroller today, or possibly heard the panting, because she really came through with the affirmations. It was "You look great" and "Awesome" for 42 minutes. It seems I subconsciously chose the toy that repeats one of three phrases or plays a musical interlude when the button is pressed and the munchkin played along.

The little one is starting to do a little more playing and a little less crying today. It's been a rough couple weeks with this teething business. Judging by the volume and frequency of the cries in the house lately, it hurts. It's been fevers, middle of the night choking/coughing fits and constant whining for too long. I feel for her and thankfully we have successfully completed all four canine tooth eruptions at once. Just the 2 year molars remaining, for awhile at least. At a family 6th birthday party this weekend, a mom kindly informed me that there are the 6 year molars. Oh for goodness sake, when will it end! Teething bites.

It's all part of growing up. In some ways, I feel a greater purpose during the trying times. When the pain and discomfort are too much to handle the little one really wants her Mommy. I pick her up, hold her in my arms and rock her until she falls asleep. I lay her in her crib and camp out on the floor next to her bed until the next coughing attack and repeat the same. It's what parents do.

Discipline for Dummies

In all the hours of preparing for baby classes, parenting classes, and breastfeeding classes there wasn't the slightest mention of how to discipline a toddler. Isn't this just as helpful to new parents as which breast pump has the most beats per minute? Not even a reader recommendation list!

We have definitely entered a new stage in parenting now that are once little baby uses the word "no" even when intending an obvious "yes". Do you want to go swimming and eats lots of candy and stay up past your bedtime...No! Yes, this is the beginning of the toddler phase. It seems my angry face "NO" does little to thwart the unwanted behavior. Quite the contrary. The little one just looks and laughs while continuing to do the act that just got her scolded. Since the "mean face" has been met with mockery, I figure it's time to try some more tested discipline methods. In an Amazon search of "toddler discipline", I came up with 183 books! No doubt there are more than twice as many theories on the subject, so trying to pick one based on who has the best looking book cover is not going to cut it.

Since I'm not a fan of The Supernanny tv show, I figured the best resource on the tried and proven is the actual Mommy network. Several Mom's I chatted with said they started implementing time out with their kids at 18 months with pretty good results. As a believer in this form of punishment I thought it was worth a go even though I questioned if she was too young for it to be effective.

I'm reminded of my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Hume. She would dish out "20 minute isolation" as regular punishment, but mostly for being disruptive in class. This meant you had to sit at a desk in the back of the room, back to the class, with one of those plastic kitchen timers set to 20 minutes. You could hear the low hum as the seconds ticked away. If you were lucky she would let you work on the current assignment otherwise, nothing, just staring at the back wall of the desk cubby, and no head on the desk naptime either. It's debateable whether it was actually effective in making long-term changes in the student's behavior, but one thing was for sure, the class proceeded without disruption if not just for the next 20 minutes. So I waited for the perfect opportunity to test it on the little one.

We are fortunate to have a Sparkletts water cooler at our home and get the delicious, crystal fresh water delivered right to our house. They even offer flouridated water so our child's teeth will grow strong and bright. In addition, they gave us two little faucet adapters to keep the little one from emptying the 5 gallon contents on our beautiful bamboo floors! Last week it happened. She figured out a way around the faucet lock as she says, "warfal." I immediately gave her a stern look accompanied with "NO", to which she thought, game on! After a few go arounds I pulled out my back pocket discipline plan, time out. The "experts" say 1 minute for each year of age. I held her in time out for a little over a minute while I explained what was going on, why she was being disciplined, and the whole concept of undesirable behavior leading to punishment. The crying started about 1/2 way into it and I thought, all the better, they're not suppose to enjoy it. This song and dance continued for another session and the third time, it worked. The threat of time-out actually deterred the behavior. Excellent!

This is not to say she doesn't still test her boundaries nor does she fully grasp the time-out discpline concept but I figure it certainly lays the foundation. It introduces the concept of consequences and it has empowered me as the disciplinarian. I just ask her "Do you want a time-out? and much of the time she replies, "no" and walks away from the situation. I've only had to use it a handful of times and hopefully it won't wear off as if it were the novelty of the week.

A minor success in what is sure to be a whole host of failures over the next seventeen years.

Let's Not Roll Out the Red Carpet Yet

Do we choose our careers or do they just happen to us? And if they just happen to us, why are we so passive as to let such a significant aspect of our life "just happen"? I suppose it's both, and shouldn't be stated so simply. I can't help but think that if my parents had just nurtured my natural aptitude as a receiver in the flag football league, maybe I would have become the first female in the NFL.

Going into this parenting stuff, I had lots of opinions about how it should be done. Some I still hold to and live by with the little one, some I obviously had no idea what I was thinking, and others I still feel strongly about, but have accepted that I must choose my battles. I do still believe that I have some responsibility in recognizing and encouraging the natural talents that someday may present themselves in the little one. These abilities may in fact lead to her being able to choose a career path to get excited about. Yes, it sounds silly making such a statement seeing as she is only ONE year old, but if she shows an affinity to all things animal, I'm going to make an effort to expose her to wildlife. Paraphrasing Dennis Prager, "You're not raising a toddler, you're raising an adult."

One of the little one's newest words is "movie" but it really sounds more like "buh-dee". This has been one of her most enthusiastic words yet. From the moment she gets up, its "buh-dee" "peess" "peess". She climbs up in Daddy's chair and points at his computer screen "buh-dee". From her perspective, this is where the magic happens, this is where the movies are made. Daddy, a much-loved filmmaker, spends countless hours in front of his computer making fantastic shorts. If the little one is lucky, he lets her help. So I ask myself, will she continue in the paternal footsteps and desire to please audiences through visual storytelling or is this the normal manifestation of a child's obsession with television? Do I encourage her by letting her watch Daddy's camp movies over, and over, and over again? Will she be intolerably vain if she watches herself being cute one more time? At least these are actual real life people and places. Not like Elmo.

I'm leaning towards moderation. You never know, she may become a great film director who receives worldwide praise and accolades, or she may be a silly salesperson or contractor who spends her evenings putting together fun nostalgic films to entertain her loved ones. Either way, it's a win!